Wednesday, February 17, 2016
When it's more about trust...
I wrestled against it for awhile.
What if I failed? What if people make mean comments? What if I made people mad or they didn't like me anymore?
My mind went down all sorts of roads of failure.
But my heart kept coming back to where God was calling me. Take that step.
Step out in faith.
And trust Me.
I've only posted about it one other time on here, but I recently took the step to become a Consultant with a skin care company, Rodan+Fields. I felt God's prompting to do this. And to turn all proceeds back over to Him.
It sounded pretty adventurous, and kinda fun, blessing missionary friends monetarily when they were least expecting it.
And then the first paycheck came.
And those numbers looked real good sitting in my account. But I made a commitment to not only those I sold to, but to God, and myself, that ALL of it was being given away.
That's when I realized that this giving was a whole lot bigger than being generous.
It was about trusting.
That first paycheck could have bought an entire month of groceries.
The second paycheck; a mortgage payment PLUS groceries.
But away it went. The moment of panic, thinking of what was just given, gave way to relief.
It wasn't mine anyway.
I do not want to speak on these things to bring any glory back on me. I truly feel that God is using Paul and I, and this mission of giving, to bring HIM glory. To show that God is so much bigger than the piddly money we put in our bank accounts.
God is so much bigger than that thing that you think you cannot lose. He wants us all to see and discover that true joy in living comes with palms held out in giving, not in grasping to the meager things we call ours.
I cannot deny that this is a struggle, a battle that we fight daily. Every morning with the sunrise we learn all over again how this life is not ours to own. That when God calls us to give of ourselves, in whatever way that appears in our lives, that He is calling not only for generosity, but for trust.
Trusting that when we give up something of ourselves, He will be there to fill our need.