It used to come to me a little easier. I had these thoughts tumbling around in my head. So many things that I was trying to keep straight.
The only way for me to organize it was to type it out.
Post it here.
My writing has fallen off quite a bit in the last several months. I couldn't quite pinpoint what the cause of it was.
Writer's block? Busy schedule? My life lacks inspiration?
Perhaps a bit of all of that. But I think the biggest deterrent...
Pressure to perform. Keep up with Joneses.
I starting writing this blog to first post pictures for the Grandmas. Owen was an only grandchild on both sides, the grandmas couldn't get enough of him, so I obliged.
Then it evolved into a soothing balm, therapeutic healing, as I would write of the struggles of parenting teens.
And my audience grew from 2 grandmas to a wider scope of readers.
And while I have always strove to keep things authentic, and only post when I have felt the Spirit compel me to, lately I have become a bit gun-shy with recording my thoughts.
And then there's the comparing. That can just get us into trouble. Should I do more frequent posts like other blogs I've read? They are so eloquent. I feel frumpy. Theirs is humorous. Mine feel so blah. And now I feel like I am back in high school.
Ultimately, I want this blog to do three things:
To be a record for my kids to look back on some day. I want them to read the thoughts of their mother, the thoughts that she had towards them, the struggles that come with striving to walk in the Light.
To encourage other Believers in their Walk as well. Realizing that we are living for One Kingdom, while having to reside in another. And to give hope to those who are still searching. The Message is there for all to hear.
To point all things back to God. To give Him the glory for the great things He has done. Even the hard things that are put into print here can be seen as good things when held up to the light of eternity. He has the greater picture. He knows how each of our stories end, because He wrote each of our books.
None of this pressure to perform is coming from anybody by me. Sadly, I am getting in my own way again.
So, I hope you are patient with me as I work through this process. I hope I don't lose you to the flashier, cooler, trendier things. I hope there is something among these posts that has spoken to you, that has shown Light where Darkness used to be.