Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Of broken glass and rocks

He was just being a boy.

Curious.  Discovering.  Playing in the dirt.  Finding cool rocks.

He just wanted to crack the rock open and see what it looked like inside.

He just needed a smooth patch of concrete to throw it down on.

He didn't think about the fact that it was right next to the house.

Right next to the large front window...



Initial reactions:

Unbelief - the contractors were literally finished with the house as of yesterday

Anger - how could you not think through that?  Didn't you realize the rock could hit the window?

Frustration - more unexpected money going out the door.  I feel like we are hemorrhaging cash right now.

Tears.  His and mine.  He was so sorry.  He's been gifted with that quality.  Instantly feeling bad for messing up.  For disappointing.

We talked.  We hugged.

He offered to make more glass.  He knows how to do that because glass is made from sand.  He offered to help pay for it - giving $4.57 of his birthday money that he's been saving.  He said he wished he had a time machine to go back in time and change the whole thing.

Between his multiple "I'm sorrys" and his tears I knew he genuinely regretted his actions.

Yeah, that window is gonna cost us.  It's gonna pinch.  But truly, what is more valuable?  A 36 square foot window?  Or a child's heart?

There were parts of the incident that I could have handled better (aren't there always?).  But I think if anything we all learned something from it.

How many time have I messed up?  Came to Jesus with my broken glass and my apologies.

Only to go out and throw another rock.

He's right there every time.  To take us in.  Tell us we are forgiven.

Tell us that we, his children, are more important than that window.

I grieve at my two-faced vision.  I come to Jesus, hoping for grace for my sins.

But so quickly get frustrated and upset over accidents and honest mistakes by certain little individuals in my household.  I have so much to learn.  So far to go.

To remember in those moments to choose grace.  To extend love.  To hold back the words and reach out for hugs.   

Create in me a clean, clean heart
Create in me a work of art
Create in me a miracle
Something real and something beautiful


Create a miracle in me

You're not finished with me yet
You're not finished with me yet

By Your power I can change, I can change
'Cause You're not finished with me yet
Create in Me, Rend Collective 

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