Truthfully, I have been struggling lately. There are many different facets to what is causing it. To protect certain others, I won't go into detail. Just at a low point right now. We'll put it at that.
But it's Christmas!
That time of year with sparkly lights and anticipation and warm gatherings of family and friends!
Which is partly why I feel guilty struggling the way I am. Aren't I supposed to be joyful right now? In this most joyful time of year?
I try to conjure up some Christmas joy, but often it fizzles out with a conflict or a blowup or one more thing that pulls me away from my children.
I feel weak.
I feel small.
I feel inadequate.
My favorite Christmas song is O Holy Night and I can sing that puppy by heart. I especially love that last verse.
But tonight I heard the words in the second verse, and they spoke to my heart.