Friday, August 10, 2012

Note to Owen

It happened so quickly.

Maybe when my back was turned doing dishes.

Or perhaps putting a load of laundry in the washer.

Or even in one of those moments when I blinked.

I tried to slow it down, cherish the moments.

But it still happened.

Owen is heading to Kindergarten.   In one week.

I have already become a weepy mess and the day is not even here.  The thought of our son heading off to a bit of life outside of us is tearing me up.  But I knew this day would come, and I am glad it is here, for his sake.  Owen loves to learn and he is so excited to go to school.

But I think of all those unknowns for him, those things that I went through that I really don't want him to experience.  I don't want to see him hurt.  I cringe of thinking of that day when someone verbally tears him down for something that at one point he cherished about himself.  Causing him to doubt everything about himself that at one time seemed so sure.

I want him to be equipped with the knowledge that I have now, after having gone through it myself.

But truthfully, those lessons are often learned through personal experience, and not because someone has told you.

Like not taking it personally when some kid thinks that your really cool backpack is 'stupid' or calls you a 'stinkyhead' or other equally horrifying things.  They only call you that to make their own selves feel better.  There is something about you that threatens them.  And by calling you out on your 'lameness' somehow makes them feel like you are back to their level.

I want you, Owen, to be sure of yourself, knowing God has created you as a unique individual, with unique qualities and tastes.  The best person you can be is YOU, not an imitation of someone else.

People's valuation of you should not matter, only God's valuation of you should.  Measure yourself by his ruler, by His Word, not by the measuring stick of your peers.

Love God, show others God's love, despite their actions toward you.  Remember, you don't need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends that you can be certain of.

There will always be someone richer, cooler, smarter than you.  That's just life.  But there will also be others who are poorer, wallflowers, back of the class.  That's life, too.  But God doesn't play favorites and you shouldn't either.  Treat each peer as an equal, someone who is loved by Jesus, and in need of Jesus' love.

THIS is what I want you to know before you go to Kindergarten, Owen.  It would save you a world of heartache.  But I know you, like me, will have to discover this for your own self.  I can only hope you figure it out sooner than I did.

Welp, there I go again, a weepy old mess...


  1. I'm sending Smith back to public this year, too. This made me cry. Letting go is hard.

  2. I know. Oh How I know! I sent Solomon to Kindergarten last year and I was soooo emotional about it. It was a fabulous experience. There were some insensitive words and things that made my mama heart break.. but Solomon's strength and resilient ways were assuring to me. Saying that.. I am so relieved to be homeschooling this year!

  3. I hope that you listen to yourself, because it's not just the kid who has to learn not to take other people's valuation of himself seriously. If you worried at all about people judging your parenting before- it really can get ramped up now! So just remember what you told Owen- You too are made by God to be the Nichole he made you to be. Your value was put in you at creation. And something just for you: You know your child best and you love him the most (Paul too of course), and know one else was asked to be his parent. Trust yourself. After all, I believe Owen's creator has already decided to trust you.

    love you girl!