Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Gotta get it off my chest

Tonight my heart feels heavy.

I feel like it is a number of things that is weighing it down at the moment.  A number of things that all relate to each other but that I can't necessarily type on here - to protect those that I serve.

Questions that I keep rolling around in my head are "Why?  Why do I do this work?  Why do I pour all my care and energy into a bunch of teenagers who don't always welcome it and would rather be around someone other than me?  Why do I get up each morning and throw myself into this ministry only to have sticks and stones hurled at me in any number of ways?  Why do I keep giving them the same Message over and over, hoping for change, but not always seeing it?"

I guess because I have been asked to.

God has asked each one of us to share His message of salvation and to care for those less fortunate.

Even if they don't want it.

We may not always see the results of our sewing of seeds.  But God does not ask us for RESULTS...

God asks us for our EFFORT.

Our whole heart, soul, body, and mind effort.  When we get knocked down or get those proverbial stones thrown at us - we keep giving that sold-out effort for Him.

Because while WE were yet SINNERS Christ died for US.

We too are those people who need His grace and salvation.  We are the ones that throw the stones and would rather be doing something other than what God wants us to do.  But while we were yet in our sinful state - Christ died for each one of us.

He didn't have to.  But He did.

And so, despite all those questions that keep coming back to haunt me while I lie in bed at night...

I'll keep giving the effort, Lord.


  1. I LOVED reading your heart, Nichole :) So often I have the same questions going through my head....yes, there's hurt, stress, heartache, and disapointments that come with what we do. But praise God for the rewarding moments! We just have to keep remembering those, even tho they are few. We're praying over here!! Love ya!

  2. I find that sometimes God is busy working in your heart when you thought he was using you to work in someone else's heart. I think you're in good hands :-) Love you.