Saturday, March 31, 2012

March

A month in the life of the Suvar's.  A few pictures from it at least...
A typical view of the living room...yeesh.

Drinking water from the bathroom sink...

Wrestling with daddy...but pause for a photo-op

Enjoyed the summer weather in March - loving the froggy boots!

Building forts with chairs and sheets - and you have to have a cookie to go with it!

Owen learned to ride his bike with no training wheels.  Now he wants to ride everywhere. To the store. To the library. To grandma's.

$1 Easter hat at Target.  Perfect for the hat-loving 2 year old

We told Hannah she could get a bike basket and helmet if she starts riding her bike.  She is motivated...kinda.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Gotta get it off my chest

Tonight my heart feels heavy.

I feel like it is a number of things that is weighing it down at the moment.  A number of things that all relate to each other but that I can't necessarily type on here - to protect those that I serve.

Questions that I keep rolling around in my head are "Why?  Why do I do this work?  Why do I pour all my care and energy into a bunch of teenagers who don't always welcome it and would rather be around someone other than me?  Why do I get up each morning and throw myself into this ministry only to have sticks and stones hurled at me in any number of ways?  Why do I keep giving them the same Message over and over, hoping for change, but not always seeing it?"

I guess because I have been asked to.

God has asked each one of us to share His message of salvation and to care for those less fortunate.

Even if they don't want it.

We may not always see the results of our sewing of seeds.  But God does not ask us for RESULTS...

God asks us for our EFFORT.

Our whole heart, soul, body, and mind effort.  When we get knocked down or get those proverbial stones thrown at us - we keep giving that sold-out effort for Him.

Because while WE were yet SINNERS Christ died for US.

We too are those people who need His grace and salvation.  We are the ones that throw the stones and would rather be doing something other than what God wants us to do.  But while we were yet in our sinful state - Christ died for each one of us.

He didn't have to.  But He did.

And so, despite all those questions that keep coming back to haunt me while I lie in bed at night...

I'll keep giving the effort, Lord.
Amen.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Trying to put it into words

I feel like I haven't had a lot to say lately.  I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head but nothing that really formulated into something that could be put into words.

At least not enough words to make a post about it.

But maybe as I type something will come about.

I thought about how gorgeous the weather has been these last few weeks and how we have gotten a glimpse of summer a few months early.  Summer with school still going on, which means I get to enjoy the outdoors with my little kids during the school day without the added responsibility of the big kids.

And by enjoying this time with my kids I have to remind myself to live in the moment.  Enjoy this moment.  So many of my moments are spent thinking about other moments - ones that have already happened or ones that are to come.

And I lose the joy of moment that I am in.

I think about how God wants us to enjoy our moments in the now, but with an ever present thought of eternity.  Enjoy this moment, because God has ALL moments in His control, and know that there is a MUCH better moment coming someday.

Better than these sunshiny summer days in the middle of March.

I've also been thinking about my sinful nature.

And how I just keep messing up in the same areas over and over again.

I was reading a devotion earlier in the week and it had a prayer which said (in some paraphrase):
Today I choose death to this sin that has a grip on me.  Sin's power has been broken and no longer has it's grip on me.  Today I am going to let You, Jesus, respond to this area of defeat.  By faith I will exercise the life and power that are mine in Christ Jesus (In Touch, April 2012)

I was really struck by those words.  So often, so very often, I go back to God and ask him to forgive me yet again for some sin in my life.  I don't know if I have (or if I have, it's been a long time) asked Jesus to nail a particular sin to the cross and claim victory over a specific sin.

For me, I think this is a prayer that I will need to pray daily.  And I have started to ever since I read that prayer a few days ago.  I have noticed a difference in the areas that I ask Jesus to take and crucify.

Because I know I can't do this on my own.

This new realization seems appropriate for the time we are in, leading up to the celebration of Easter and how Jesus gave himself up willingly for ALL people, died on an ugly, cruel cross, and ROSE from death to claim VICTORY or SIN and DEATH so that we all may have hope of an eternal life in HEAVEN.

Ooo, that gives my goosebumps on my arms and a smile on my face.

Well, looky there.  I guess I was able to type some words after all.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A hamburger with a side of Lego tire




Between Owen being at preschool and Maddie taking her nap, I had a couple of uninterrupted hours with Hannah this afternoon.  We spent quite a bit of the time outside enjoying the spring-like weather.  But, you know, one must break for a spot of afternoon tea.  We had a few extra guests with us but the service was excellent and the atmosphere couldn't have been better.  Seems like just yesterday I was doing this with my dolls.  So glad I have a daughter to share it with now.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Finding the Moderation

Sometimes I am a creature of community.

Sometimes I am a creature of solitude.

Which one is right?

Is either one wrong?

I have taken those personality tests and some have labeled me an introvert, some an extrovert.

I'm not really sure which one I am.

I had heard at a conference I went to once that a true extrovert gets their energy and rejuvenation from being around people, and the introvert gains theirs from being alone.  I like being around people.  I like feeling like I am a part of something.  I don't even have to engage in a conversation, I just like to be surrounded by people.

But there are times that my mind is just calling for some solitude.  I often feel guilty about this.  Like I am supposed to want to be around people all the time.  But God calls His children to take some alone time.

We've all talked about it.  Done it.

Devotions.  Meditation on His Word.  Time in prayer.

Whatever you may call it.  I think that there is a need to go a bit beyond that 15 minutes of devo time that we give.  When I am alone, or have a bit of time without a whole lot of distractions, how do I spend that time?

In a world where we are constantly plugged in.  How much of our time is really spent alone?  How much of our alone time is actually spent on Facebook, blogs, chat rooms, texting, emailing? 

We are connected, and yet disconnected at the same time.

I think our alone time needs to be spent in a bit more quiet.

Because that is when we can truly hear God's voice.

I need to find the moderation between surrounding myself with community and surrounding myself with silence.

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart 
and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. 
After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 
After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. 
And after the fire came a gentle whisper.  
I Kings 19:11+12